I hadn't written any mischief letters for a while so I thought it was high time I did. When the cat threw up all over the kitchen again this week, I had an idea....
Customer Relations Department
Mars Petcare UK
3D Dundee Road
Berkshire SL1 4LG
Dear Customer Relations,
Whiskas and Feline Eating Disorders
I have a cat called Nahla (I’d rather have a dog but cats bury their own poo in the garden – usually someone else’s - which is a lot better than picking up smelly poos and putting them in a bin). She’s named after the lioness in the Lion King. She doesn’t look much like a lion, in fact she looks like a tiger that shrank in the wash because she’s small and stripy, but she seems to like the name.
She also likes Whiskas ‘Oh So Meaty’ in Jelly. In fact, she likes Whiskas so much that she gets very stroppy when we give her crunchy cat food which the vet says we have to on account of her gum disease. Her favourite Whiskas is the poultry selection. She doesn’t like the ‘Oh So Fishy’ ones – probably because we live a long way from the sea.
Anyway, I am beginning to get a little worried about Nahla because she keeps being sick after she has eaten her Whiskas. Unfortunately, she seems to prefer to throw up in the house instead of in other people’s gardens. I don’t particularly like the look or smell of Whiskas when it’s fresh from the pouch. When it’s been inside a cat for ten minutes, it’s not nice at all!
I think she is displaying a lot of the classic symptoms of Bulimia.
I have looked up Bulimia on the NHS website and it says that low self esteem could be a major factor. Nahla is much smaller than all the other cats in the neighbourhood and her tummy is a bit ‘saggy’ since she had kittens when she was very young. I suspect that she is being bullied. She is also adopted (she was already over a year old when she came to us) so perhaps she is insecure.
As you are clearly very expert in the area of feline nutrition, I was hoping that you may be able to offer some advice.
Full marks to Mars Petcare, and in particular, to Susan Hendy from their Customer Care Team. She was soon back to me with a very helpful reply:
Naturally, I'm obliged to serve another volley now that I know I have someone to play with....
Watch this space.