Anthony complains about almost everything....
When he’s not complaining, he works in the design business – because he couldn’t think of anything else to do. However, he only works two days a week these days and is due to retire shortly to devote more time to being miserable.
Throughout his career, he travelled internationally with his work which meant lots of aeroplanes and hotels – both of which he hated with a passion but which provided lots of raw material for his letters. His favourite places are the Yorkshire Dales and Africa – with the Dales probably edging it because there you can eat the animals whereas in Africa, you are not allowed to eat the animals, but they are allowed to eat you.
He has been married to the same (remarkably tolerant) woman for a very long time indeed and has two grown up children he refers to as Pugsley and Veruka. He also has two grandchildren and because of his general disposition, is now known as Grumpa.
His greatest passion is food so when he’s not at work or writing his letters, he is usually cooking or eating. Consequently, he tends to complain about restaurant food rather a lot and rarely pays the entire bill. He once broke into the kitchen and attacked the chef at a local hotel after an appalling meal that ended with a dessert that contained a pubic hair.
His other great love used to be his mistress – a very old and very fast sports car – which he took out on sunny weekends to drive at indecent speed through the local countryside whilst terrorising and shouting obscenities at anyone and anything that got in the way. Alas, he recently sold it and spent the money on a new very posh kitchen on the assumption that it would be much harder to kill himself whilst cooking.
Anthony also loves great coffee and drinks copious amounts of espresso (which may explain why he’s so bad tempered). He regards Starbucks as a scourge on the face of the planet akin to Swine Flu and thinks that serving weak coffee is on a par with mass murder or being an estate agent.1
In the meantime, he has built a sister site British-American-Dictionary.com which takes a not even slightly serious look at the differences between British and American English. Do take a look as he’s really rather pleased with it.
One day, Anthony intends to turn both sites into books to provide beer money during his retirement.
For American readers: An estate agent is a realtor, otherwise known as a bastard. ↩