Best Ever Complaint Letters |

STOP PRESS: CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE HILARIOUS INSTANT RESTAURANT COMPLAINT LETTER

 

Some funny complaint letters have become world famous.  Here, is a collection of my favorites.  Please send me your suggestions for other complaint letters to be added to the collection. Just use the ‘Contact Dear Customer Relations’ page to get in touch and paste your letter into the email or add a link to the wall on the Dear Customer Relations Facebook page by following the link in the sidebar on any of the letter pages.

 

To jump to the letter, just click on the title or picture/logo:

 


ryanair buttonRyanair: Child, Not-That-Bright, Vacant and Middle Gimp

The latest candidate for the best complaint letter ever written, this rant to Ryanair by James Lockley will have you crying with laughter…

 

 

 

 

 


Brittania Hotels: Probably the Worst Hotel in the Worldbritannia button

A complaint letter to one of the UK’s very worst hotel operators, complimenting them on the tasteless decor, the non-existent maintenance, the mould and bodily fluid stains, oh, and the frilly smoke detectors!

 

 

 

 


Virgin Atlantic: Mumbai to Heathrow In-Flight Food400x250 Virgin Atlantic In-Flight Food complaint letter

This first complaint letter is probably the most widely read complaint of all time.  Addressed to Sir Richard Branson, it tells the sorry tale of the culinary disasters on a flight from Mumbai to Heathrow.  Hysterically funny.

 

 

 

 


400x250 Focus DIY Hobbit

Focus DIY: The Dandruff Eating Hobbit

All Mr. W from Derby wanted was a piece of pipe to fix the leak under his sink.  A truly hilarious rant to the inept DIY chain featuring a dandruff eating hobbit and a twat called Ken.

 

 

 

 

 


400x250 always maxi pads complaint latterAlways: Have a Happy Period

A complaint letter that all PMT sufferers (and husbands of PMT sufferers) will relate to, this is a rant about the message on the self-adhesive strip on a panty pad.  Brilliant!

 

 

 

 

 


Vodafone Chief Executive DefendedVodaphone: A Communicational Conundrum

A lengthy rant of a complaint letter to Nick Read, the CEO of Vodaphone about being passed from pillar to post by the customer relations department.  Long, but worth reading right to its very funny ending.

 

 

 

 


400x250 NTL LogoNTL: Trying to Get Connected

From the “Dear Cretins…” at the start to the “..May you rot in hell“at the end, this is a genuine Mr. Angry complaint letter.  Some strong (but very funny) language.

 

 

 

 

 


400x250 Lothian and Borders PoliceLothian & Borders Police: Response Times

Have you ever tried to get the local plods to deal with anti-social behaviour in your area?  One citizen got fed up of being ignored and this is his complaint letter.

 

 

 

 

 


400x250 The WreckScary Duck:  The Wreck

Ever hired a car that was a piece of junk?  A complaint letter to a hire car company that should have tried harder.  Reproduced with kind permission of the Scary Duck blog.

 

 

 

 

 


400x250 AGL AustraliaAGL Australia: You May Want to Sit Down….

Australia’s largest power company realised that it hasn’t billed John Noble for 18 months and decided it wanted its money.  John wasn’t so keen to part with $1,900!  Off went the complaint letter.

 

 

 

 

 


400x250 Old Ladys RevengeAn Old Lady Gets Revenge …

A 96 year old woman decides to turn the tables on her bank.  Sadly, not a genuine complaint letter but still a classic nevertheless.

 

 

 

 

 


FLOAT ZH 0051The Pubic Hair Encrusted Soap and the Flotation Tank

One of my own letters and the one that really started this whole crazy obsession with complaining.

The letter is in the form of a draft magazine article sent to a famous health spa after a truly horrific and very expensive weekend.