Best Ever Replies |

Sometimes, the replies to complaints and mischief letters are even better than the letters themselves. Here, I feature some of my favorites. If you have any suggestions for other great replies, please send them in.  To see the full letter, just click on the picture or title:


400x250 Dunkables

Dunkables Broken Biscuits:

This outstanding exchange certainly deserves to be in this collection.  It is one of the very best replies to a complaint ever written.  Nigel Short wrote a mischievous complaint to Freemans Confectionery and got an absolutely classic reply…





Cleveland Browns Best Ever Reply

Cleveland Browns:

This is my absolute favorite and, remarkably, was written by a lawyer – a profession not normally well known for their wit.  This particular lawyer replied on behalf of the Cleveland Browns NFL team to a complaint from a spectator (who, by coincidence, also happened to be a lawyer)






 Smithsonian Barbie:

A letter from the Smithsonian Institute to an amateur paleantologist informing him that the important discovery of early hominid remains in his back garden is not all that it seems



BIC penis thumbnail

My Pen Only Draws Willies

This reply to a complaint about a faulty pen was allegedly sent by BIC UK. Apparently, the pen would only draw penises and point blank refused to do anything else!






HMRC tax man thumbnailIt’s a Tax Demand, not a Begging Letter!

A reply purporting to be from Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs to comedian Chris Addison about the small matter of some outstanding tax payments…






NASA rejection letter thumbnailNASA Rejection Letter

A rejection letter from NASA to aspiring astronaut Jamie Jones. The space agency didn’t think much to Jamie’s idea for a new rocket powered by Coke and mints either….