This exchange with electrical retailer Comet dates back to 2010 when Mike Dean experienced some difficulty with his Sony Vaio laptop computer. Rather inconveniently, the keys on his keyboard were prone to falling off – which made it rather difficult to write a letter of complaint!
I do my best to eat a healthy balanced diet. Most of the time. Occasionally, I don’t so much fall off the wagon as swallow dive off it.
This letter was sent to me by novelist, Phil Williams. It is addressed to Sainsburys and it concerns a rather disgusting episode involving a bottle of chocolate milk.
This letter was actually written by a grumpy septuagenarian who spends most of his time on cruise ships these days and who obviously believes that McDonalds should be catering to the more mature end of the market. He also happens to be my father!
“Now Ken is a name you can trust. Mr Dependable. Mr Right. You know where you are with a Ken? Not this one. He was a twat”
DCR is endebted to Mrs M.W. of Derby who has sent in a letter penned by her husband to the German discount supermarket chain LIDL back in 2009. Alas, they haven’t replied just yet.
“The top secret information held at the corporate offices is of course the GAP copy of the world atlas. After all, there are just over 307 million Americans and only 126 of them have been abroad (mainly to Stratford upon Avon)”.
“Usually, Spaghetti Bolognese has some spaghetti in it. Potato Lyonnaise more often than not contains some potato. There are exceptions of course – Shepherds Pie and Toad in the Hole spring to mind – but for the most part, the name of these prepared foods is generally a very good guide as to the principal ingredient”
“This all seemed like an awful lot of trouble to swallow an “easy-to-swallow” capsule. It occurred to me that it may actually be a great deal easier to introduce the capsule into the gastro-intestinal tract from completely the opposite end! A quick dab of Vaseline and hey presto!”
“I’ll never forget queuing very early one morning in a Starbucks near Union Square in San Francisco with all the flakes and hookers – they made the cast of ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ look like a bunch of Nobel prizewinners – and the barista looked at me like I was the crazy one just because I’d ordered a Quadruple Tall Latte”