“I would rather obtain the course fee (£80) in 50 pence coins, heat them all in a pan, and push them individually up my own backside than be talked down to on safety by West Mercia Constabulary”
Someone hacked into Simon Cullen’s iTunes account and stole £190 from him. In their wisdom, iTunes decided that the best way to help him was to ignore him completely….
“You say you’re ‘not of the opinion’ that the piles of excrement appearing nightly in my back yard are being produced by the cats I’ve seen jumping over the walls. Do you think I’m bothered what kind of animal is crapping in my yard? I don’t care if it’s cats, aardvarks, or bloody sugar-gliders”
This one has been tweeted about across the globe so I asked the author, David Thorne, if he would mind me sharing it on Dear Customer Relations.
“During the ensuing long, one‐sided conversation with your automated robot system I think I must have pressed more buttons on the telephone than Neil Armstrong did during the entire Apollo 11 mission to the moon and back”.
DCR would like to thank Keith Hunt for submitting the following letter he wrote to TV Licensing after Amazon tipped them off that a TV had been delivered to Keith’s work address.
DCR is grateful to Nick Gill, playright, musician and composer, for allowing us to share the following letter he wrote to Transport for London…
As regular readers of DCR will know, I am always on the look out for funny complaint letters. This one however is a funny response…
“The first thing I noticed as that it was completely drenched in lemon juice. The second thing I noticed was WHY. The fish was so far past its sell-by date that it could have climbed off the table and gone for a walk round the village”.
“The top secret information held at the corporate offices is of course the GAP copy of the world atlas. After all, there are just over 307 million Americans and only 126 of them have been abroad (mainly to Stratford upon Avon)”.