Tampax Tampon Tantrum

Yes, this is a complaint letter about tampons.  So “Why is there a cuddly Labrador puppy?” I hear you say.  That’s Andrex, not Tampax, right? Well, it’s not just any old Labrador, it’s Marley, and he’s in the letter

Charmin Ultra Strong – A Basic Mistake

Charmin Emergency

Who could know that buying the wrong toilet paper could have such disastrous consequences? When Brian Legget’s wife accidentally picked up a pack of Charmin Basic, little did she realise that it would cost her her life.

Dentyl PH: Brush, Floss, Sloosh, Gargle, Spit

Ian MacLeod wrote this latest funny complaint letter after his new mouthwash kept removing nasty gunk from his mouth, time after time after time… “Well, could YOU go to bed knowing your mouth was a biological chemical plant to rival any that Hans Blix never found in Iraq? I certainly couldn’t….”

Hollands Pies: The Sultana and the Sheikh

Holland Pies

Panic at Manchester City Football Club after a sultana is discovered lurking in City’s legendary Chicken Balti Pie. Urgent action is required before the entire football season is ruined.

Sonim Technologies: The Mad Fire Fighter and the Jingle Song

Sonim Dear Ferrero Header

DCR’s favourite Dutchman and professional fire-fighter, Thomas de Graaff, is slightly bonkers. He sends crazy letters to unsuspecting product manufacturers just to see what comes back. He also likes to make telephone calls whilst fighting raging infernos (like I said, he’s bonkers). He is therefore a big fan of his virtually indestructible, bad-ass mobile phone, made by Sonim Technologies.
So much so, he wrote a song about it….

Apple: Let’s Piss Away a Billion Dollars

This week, I made the grave mistake of updating the software on my iPhone.  Just like last time, the Bluetooth in my car could no longer see the phone.  That made me rather cross…

Nestle: May the Spooge be With You

This letter was submitted by Jen Bridges, author of the highly original ‘OfHerbsAndAltars’ Blog. This is one of Jen’s ‘less unusual’ letters and it received a great reply from Nestlé

Glorious Foods – Oodles of Noodles?

It seems that Father Bill Haymaker’s carton of Glorious New York Chicken Noodle Soup not only failed to deliver oodles of noodles but also failed to constitute any real threat to the UK chicken population.

Walkers Crinkles: A Crispy Atrocity

This email exchange with Walkers Crisps was submitted by Mark Jorgensen. It seems that Mark didn’t think his bag of Crinkles was quite as full as it should have been.

Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of Fire…

ronson complaint

A few years ago, I had a holiday in the Greek Islands – and very nice it was too. Usually after a holiday, I would be complaining to airlines or hotels but this time, I had a very unusual experience involving a faulty cigarette lighter….. and my testicles!