iTunes – Stop Ignoring Me!!

Someone hacked into Simon Cullen’s iTunes account and stole £190 from him. In their wisdom, iTunes decided that the best way to help him was to ignore him completely….

BT – Bloody Terrible!

“During the ensuing long, one‐sided conversation with your automated robot system I think I must have pressed more buttons on the telephone than Neil Armstrong did during the entire Apollo 11 mission to the moon and back”.

TV Licensing – I Don’t Even Have a Telly

DCR would like to thank Keith Hunt for submitting the following letter he wrote to TV Licensing after Amazon tipped them off that a TV had been delivered to Keith’s work address.

The Bastard on the Bus

DCR is grateful to Nick Gill, playright, musician and composer,  for allowing us to share the following letter he wrote to Transport for London in March 2009 [the footnotes are mine, not Nick’s].  Sadly, it seems that TFL failed to respond in any way.  Perhaps the cousins of the Bastard on the Bus work in the customer relations department.  If anyone has any other bus driver letters, please send them in. Dear Customer Relations, Imagine the …

Read moreThe Bastard on the Bus

Starbucks: A Global Pandemic of Mediocrity

starbucks defaced cup

“I’ll never forget queuing very early one morning in a Starbucks near Union Square in San Francisco with all the flakes and hookers – they made the cast of ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’ look like a bunch of Nobel prizewinners – and the barista looked at me like I was the crazy one just because I’d ordered a Quadruple Tall Latte”

Northern Rock: the World’s Worst Website

northern rock

“You have a website that doesn’t work with the world’s largest and utterly industry standard computer operating system. The website of the UK’s ninth largest bank goes tits-up on every single new computer sold in the world today. I defy anyone to find a more mind-blowing example of commercial stupidity”.

David Wilson Homes – How Not to Build a House

David wilson homes and Bob

“Mr. Guttering’s unique installation on the rear elevation is a lesson to us all in how to piss-off a homeowner. Not only has he managed to leave a huge gap through which all the rainwater flows (making the downpipes entirely superfluous) but he has also managed to put it directly over the fibreglass mock-lead roof of the dining room below! Whenever it rains, it sounds like we have the entire Nagasaki Drum Ensemble rehearsing in the Dining Room”.